acornautics

What do you call a group of squirrels?

Where is this going?

A swim team. I was out walking this morning and counted seven squirrels – enough for a swim team.

What makes you think squirrels would make good swimmers?

I didn’t say they’d be good. But their eyes are naturally bulging so much that one might think that they’ve worn goggles under pressure their entire existence. They’d use their long muscular tails as propellers. And like humans, they’d let their hair grow out during training season, then shave it off just before a competition. Can you imagine what a naked squirrel would look like?

They’re always naked.

You know what I mean.

I rarely do.

What would you call a team of swimming squirrels?

More importantly, would the butterfly stroke still be called the butterfly, or would it be the flying squirrel?

Now you’re making fun of me.

I’m completely serious.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell.

I can imagine.