equal pie

I went to the store today for kale and to stare at the doughnuts. Upon entering the store, I saw an elderly woman smoking a cigarette and sitting on a bench. She had lots of wrinkles. I reminded myself to use my wrinkle cream when I got home.

I had just dropped off my load of plastics and metals and glass at the recycling place, so upon my arrival at the store, I hurried to the restroom to wash my hands. Just before elbowing open the restroom door, I noticed a number of quarter machines. One of them held little plastic monsters made in China. I made a note to visit this coin-operated thing after washing my hands. I entered the restroom, and to my excitement, they provided foaming soap. It seems that public facilities are using this more and more. I like that. Something about it just seems more cleansing than liquid soap. The restroom was blessed with a white porcelain sink, so I was able to easily see my dirty suds rinsed away.

I went to dry my hands and noticed that the paper towel dispenser was not a sensor dispenser as I am used to at work. I had to touch the little lever to dispense a paper towel. I cursed myself for not dispensing the paper towel before washing my hands as I usually do. I dried my hands, then let out a couple more towels and washed my hands again. This time, I didn't have to touch a thing.

As I used the paper towel to open the restroom door, I was filled with excitement about the little monster quarter machine. As much as I do not like to handle coins, I dug into my purse in an eager search for two quarters. Found them. I put them into the machine thing, turned the lever, and was greeted with a little pink monster that looked like a bunny. I opened up the plastic capsule with a car key and smiled. I went back to the restroom again to wash my hands since I'd handled coins and that lever. This time, I thought to dispense the paper towels before washing.

I walked out one entrance/exit to enter the other entrance/exit. The second one is closer to the handheld grocery carts, and it's the entrance I pretty much always use, so I had to go out the odd entrance/exit and go into the regular entrance/exit to equalize things and cancel out my entrance to the odd exit. The elderly woman was working on another cigarette. She was sitting in the same position. I told myself that I shouldn't stare, but I did.

I picked up some kale and cursed those damn produce water-sprayers. Is that really necessary? What good does it do for the consumer other than to try to show just how "fresh" something looks? I have my own idea that it is done to add just an ounce or two of weight to per pound of produce.

Then again, maybe the produce has some sort of rinsing complex. I can understand that (even if it doesn't include foaming soap).

I'd done what was most important: getting kale. So, I moved onto gazing at the glazed doughnuts. On my way there, I was stopped in my counted steps by something I saw in the baked goods area. I saw a sign that read, "EQUAL PIE."

I frowned and looked around for an "INEQUALITY PIE," but I could not find such. It seemed all-too American. HEY! It's 2009, so let's pretend that there is no such thing as inequality... so need for an inequality pie.

I don't even know what an inequality pie would look or taste like, but I was upset that I didn't see one. I squatted down to see just what was so great about the "EQUAL PIE," and upon reading the ingredients, discovered that the "EQUAL" part was referring to the ingredients. "EQUAL," as in the artificial sweetener.

I left with a full basket of kale and a yearning for an inequality pie.